I have never been a bridesmaid.
Well, I guess I was a junior bridesmaid for my sister when I was eight years old, but that doesn't really count.
I figure now that I'm forty years old, chances are slim that I ever will be a bridesmaid.
I'm not sure I really want to be a bridesmaid. But, for reasons I don't really understand, I've been thinking about it lately.
Thinking about what this means, deep down. That I've never been a closey-close girlfriend. I have lots of friends, but not since the eighth or ninth grade have I had a whispery tell-all relationship with another female.
Is that abnormal?
A niece of mine was married last summer and, because I read a passage at the ceremony, I was part of the rehearsal/pre-wedding day festivities. I observed her bridesmaids and felt quite jealous of the camaraderie among the group. Actually, I'm not sure jealous is the right word. Maybe regretful.
I watch shows like Sex and the City, and, although there are a multitude of things I find annoying about the characters, I wish I had close female friendships like that. I know, I know - it's TV; it's not real. Still, deep down below the surface, I feel as if I'm missing out on something, ya know?
7 comments:
Hmmmm...yeah. I was just talking to a friend of mine yesterday about how I am not really that way. She gets annoyed that I don't ever call her and it is always her initiating any "get-togethers". Many of my friends complain about that with me. It is always them calling, them e-mailing, them suggesting we get the kids together or go out without the kids. The older I get, the worse I get for that type of thing. I guess I just kind of...don't care that much. If I think to call someone, great. If not, whatever. I dunno. I like my "alone" time and time with just my kids. In fact, if our HSing group puts together a field trip, I often don't attend. I take my kids on my own. We go all the same places, just when we are not with the group.
I was never a bridesmaid either. I have many many friends and all that, but only a few really close ones. All the really close ones, live far away! LOL The ones I can see any time I want to, are nice and I enjoy their company. But I guess there is not a long history together or something. I dunno.
I have a friend (she has been mentioned in my blog. Her name is "D") who lives five hours away. She is also a teacher (funny, she used to homeschool her kids, encouraged me to do it. Then she went back to college and now teaches grade eight! LOL) and she says the same as you. She has no close friends over there. Maybe it is a teacher thing??? You don't have time or something???
I am her closest friend and we seldom see each other. She says with the others, it is all surface stuff. With me, she can talk about anything.
Wow. Where did that come from???
Maybe if you quit flirting with their husbands and "borrowing" their jewelry, you might be able to keep a few female friends... ;-)
And then there was Dana, you remember? You two were so close, but then you went and set her hair on fire after she made a crack about the Partridge Family. I know you were drunk at the time, I know that's what the judge took into consideration, but still you really have no one but yourself to blame for these things.
(The preceeding is entirely fictional, in case there's any doubt;-)
Weddings are for losers!
-cry's-
-prepares plan for destruction of human race-
I've been in two weddings. At 36, I really only have one very close girlfriend and I have known her since 4th grade. However, we rarely see each other and she lives 45 minutes away! But she has three boys and works and I have my two kids and work. It's tough to maintain relationships, I think, once you have a family. On the weekends I'd rather spend time with my hubby and kids. But I feel lucky to have at least one friend I can call in a pinch. I do try to go out to lunch with friends. That's easier than going out in the evening at least!
Lowa - I know what you mean about the spare time. I love to spend free time with my family. Main Man, though, often wants to go out with another couple, or have another family over for an evening. Guess I'm just more of a loner.
Mentok - You're so funny....But looks aren't everything. ;-)
Hippo - Someday you'll feel differently, my dear. :-)
Jamie - I don't live near any of my grade school friends, so most of my friends now are work friends. We don't have too much turnover at work, so I guess my closest friends are those whom I've worked with for 10 - 15 years. I don't spend much weekend time with them, though, because I see them all week.
Karen - You're probably right about the room-mate thing. The only room-mate I had in college was my grandma! :-)
...About the bridesmaid thing--it's not all it's cracked up to be. It's sort of a way to get back at your buddy for any mean things they may have done to you throughout your childhood! The first time I was a bridesmaid the experience was so negative that neither the other bridesmaid nor I had that bride in our wedding parties almost as revenge (sort of always regretted that--better revenge would have been to make her a bridesmaid!!). The third time it was for a "close friend" who I haven't had any contact with for 10 years. I do however have a very shiny dress to help me remember the occasion.
About the close friends thing--I've always considered that you ARE one of my closest friends. I so miss our every other Tuesday movie nights and weekend card games. If I am able to stay married long enough to have my children throw me a big celebration--perhaps renewing our vows--I will ask YOU to be one of my bridesmaids.
See you soon. --m-j
p.s. I finally had time to check out your blog!!!
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