The World According to #3

Stop reading this post right now if you hate when people talk about funny things their kids say. I mean it. 'Cause I've saved up many of the hilarious things #3 has said this week, and I plan to share them with you now. Consider yourself warned.

I was reading a Batman picture book to him one night and his comment was, "Alfred really needs to find himself a girlfriend." I have to tell you that I've never really thought about Alfred's love life before, but #3 does have a point.

While watching King Kong last weekend, I commented to Main Man that I thought Naomi Watts was pretty, and he grunted in agreement. #3's comment: "Dad just thinks she's pretty because she's wearing her 'pyjamas'!" (He inserted Dr. Evil-style quotations around pyjamas for emphasis.)

Today when I told #1 that he was being contrary, my supportive little assistant said to his big brother, "Yeah, (#1)! Don't be contrary." Then he turned to me and whispered conspiratorially, "I don't even know what contrary means."

This last one is not so much funny as profound. I'm impressed that he's even thinking on this level. He asked me one day this week, "How does God look after all of the children all over the world all at the same time?" It reminded me of a plaque my grandmother had up on her wall, reading, "God couldn't be everywhere, so he made mothers."

There, I'm done with kid witticisms for a while now, so those of you who heeded my warning at the beginning of the post will be safe to join me again.