Yesterday was my dad's 82nd birthday.
He is such an amazing man. And he still leads such a full life. He still farms with my brother. He and his wife still travel, go dancing, and enjoy movies and dinners out.
My mom had a stroke about seven years before she passed away. She still did very well, but it paralyzed her right side, and she was in a wheelchair for the rest of her life. Dad cared for her faithfully and tenderly. They managed to have a very happy existence despite the challenges she faced.
Mom passed away in February of 2000, the day after she and Dad returned from their annual trip to Hawaii.
My dad was 75 years old and alone - and lonely. We three kids who were physically distant called him regularly, and he saw my oldest brother every day when they worked together, but his heart was probably breaking with loneliness.
Slowly, we began to realize that he wasn't at home as often when we called. And when we did get a hold of him, he seemed to talk about a certain someone a little more than other people.
My dad had begun to date.
Although the feeling was a little weird, I was very happy for him. And we four kids were very fortunate in that we knew Dad's "friend" very well. She had been a close neighbour as we had grown up. Her kids had gone to school on the same school bus we had. And she had been widowed a month after Mom had died.
In the spring of 2001, Dad phoned me one evening to chat - not an unusual occurrence. Since he had become more difficult for us to get a hold of, he had started calling us more. He was clearing his throat nervously, though, through our small talk and finally got to the point. "I've asked Ruth to marry me," he said uneasily.
I assured him that it was very happy news - as long as she had said yes!
They were married in June that same year, and I not only gained a stepmom, but also three step-siblings and their families. We were all overjoyed for our parents.
I like to think that Mom is okay with things, wherever she is. She and Dad had over fifty years together, and their chief concern was the other's happiness. If that still goes, Mom is definitely okay with things.
I phoned Dad last night to wish him a happy day. It was a bit of a bittersweet conversation, as he was surrounded by family - all three of my siblings and Ruth's two daughters and their families. We live a little too far away to have made it for the evening.
But how wonderful for Dad!
I hope I can be surrounded by rooms full of family on my 82nd birthday.
About Me
- Library Mama
- I am a mom, a wife, and a teacher-librarian. I have four boys at home: Main Man (44), #1 (14), #2 (11), and #3 (7). Although they keep me very busy, I also look after a library for an elementary student population of 500 (give or take). I love my family; I love my job.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
3 comments:
Dear Library Mama,
What a beautiful story so lovingly told and fringed with the gentle reflection that only a daughter owns.
hugs
Thanks so much for sharing this story with us.
This sounds wonderful for your Dad. I am so sorry about your mother, I can't imagine! That is lovely that they had so many years and wonderful times together. I can imagine it would be strange at first, but like you said, your family (including your Mom) wanted him to be happy and he is!
I agree with what you said. That would be wonderful to be 82 and have a room full of friends and family to celebrate with you:)
Your parents sound like great people!
Thanks to all of you. That story must have taken a bit out of me, because I haven't written again in two whole days!
Susan - Thank you for your kind comments.
Karen - I'm sorry to hear about your grandpa's situation. That must be so hard on everyone.
Lowa - My mom was one of my best friends. She never met #3, and that idea breaks my heart. My dad is one of the most honest, respected people I know. One time my mom found a lottery ticket on the church lawn after the service. When she investigated, it was a winner - $25 I think. Dad insisted on giving the money to the church, as that was where the ticket was found!
Post a Comment