STRESS with a Capital S

Today was report card day. It's a really stressful time for me. Three times a year I get to experience mind-numbing stress and debilitate my family with my vile temper.

I like to think that I would be diligent with my responsibilities in any case, but I teach in an interesting community. It's a suburban community in which most of the population is composed of urban professionals with college educations and expectations of the same for their children. Many of them tend to hold the teacher responsible if any of their little darlings get a mark which doesn't please them. It is very important for me to have documentation up the wazoo in order to justify every mark on every report card.

Next week - Tuesday and Wednesday evenings to be exact - parent-teacher interviews will be held. Those are the height of stress. Christmas can begin in our household and in my heart when those are over with.

The kicker of it all is that last night we received an email from my mother-in-law informing us that my sister-in-law (Main Man's sister) is experiencing a very stressful time. I believe the quote was "STRESS with a capital S". Her stressful time is that she is in the process of preparing to move her family into her dream house (with the financial help of my mother-in-law; it's a long story - for another time, perhaps). She (my sister-in-law), incidentally, is a stay-at-home-mom (something I've dreamed of being all my life but, alas, I don't have the nerve to ask others to pay my bills; if I sound bitter, I am).

My mother-in-law will be staying at our house overnight tonight. If my sister-in-law's STRESS becomes a topic of conversation, I may pull someone's tongue out.

Christmas Mysteries

The Christmas commercials have begun.

I'm excited about Christmas. It's my favourite time of year. I love it for many of the reasons that other people hate it. I love the buzz, the excitement, the gift-buying, the card-writing, the concerts, the parties, the getting together with family and friends, and the heart-bursting happiness of it all.

If this season makes me so happy, why do the commercials have the effect on me that they do? They can make me cry at the drop of a hat.

What's up with that?

Thankful Thursday

This week I am grateful...

...that it hasn't permanently snowed yet. Autumn has seemed longer than usual this year. I'm pleased.

...that seven-year-olds actually sleep during sleepovers.

...for slow cookers.

...that I got a raise on my last pay-cheque.

...for long weekends.

...for the excitement of election time, especially when the big picture ends up pretty much the way I want it to end up. (Too bad the little picture didn't.)

...for my church community.

...that Halloween is over.

...that Christmas is just around the corner.

...for those brave men and women who serve their country in the military.

Have a great week, all!

Mother Guilt

I'm encountering heavy doses of "mother guilt" these days. It's no one's fault. No one is intentionally doing it to me. It's just me, wishing I could do a better job.

#3 had a terrible cough in the night. He should probably sleep in this morning and stay home from school. But no, I can't let him do that. I'm already taking a day off later this week, so I can't just out-of-the-blue call in and say I won't be at school today.

#2 is performing a reading at his school's Remembrance Day ceremony later this week. Of course, I am unable to attend.

#1 has a volleyball game after school tomorrow, but, because of musical rehearsal, I can't go to that, either. (Side note: I've only missed one other game so far, and Main Man hasn't been to any of them. I suppose this time it may be his turn.)

I just wish I could be everywhere. We're constantly told at work about how expectations are high, and accountability is very important, but that leaves no room sometimes for expectations and accountability at home.

Why am I a Food Fool?

I wish I could stop eating. I keep sneaking items from the boys' Halloween candy stashes. The worst part is I don't even care what I grab. I scarf down the first thing I touch as I reach blindly into the pillow slip.

Also, for some reason I can't convince my family to eat leftovers. I open the fridge and I see these great leftovers that I don't want to see go to waste, so I fill a little bowl and toss it in the microwave. "Mmmmm," I think, "that sure tastes good. Maybe just a little more..."

I think I've eaten several meals worth of hamburger soup and spaghetti over the last few days - only it's been between meals.

Why can't I stop eating???

Rambles...

We're having a sleepover at our house tonight. #3 is having a little friend sleep over. Come to think of it, it's the first time he's had an overnight friend. I think the bigger boys were almost as excited as #3, as they like this little friend, as well.

Right now the four of them - and my biggest boy, as well, of course - are in the livingroom watching Spiderman 3 while I'm relegated to the kitchen. I'm doing just fine, though. I've got Gone with the Wind on Turner Classic Movies, blogger, and a glass of red wine. Frankly, I think we all feel that we have the best of the deal. Isn't that the way it should be?

Life has gotten the best of me once again, and it has been much too long since I've written. We are in election season here in our province. Main Man is usually quite the political animal, but that hasn't really been the case this time. We don't even have a sign on our lawn. Scandalous!

My biggest interest election-wise is that my niece's husband is running for office. Unfortunately, I'll not have the opportunity to vote for him as he is not running in our city, but I've been sending victory vibes his way constantly, so I hope everything goes well for him. I know that both of them have been working very hard, so, regardless of the outcome, they will be very happy that it will be over soon.

"You should be kissed - often - and by someone who knows how." I love Gone With the Wind!

Life continues to be busy at school. We have begun rehearsals for this year's musical - The Pirates of Penzance. It is always a highlight of the school year, and, although I enjoy the rehearsals, the time commitment is a little overwhelming: every noon hour and an hour every day after school until our performance dates in February. I feel like much of the rest of my life takes a backseat during musical season.

"I don't know nothin' 'bout birthin' babies!"

Well, they've decided to take a break from Spiderman, so I've been challenged to a game of Operation. I'm off to remove a funny bone.

Hope this rambling note finds all of you well and happy. Cheers!

How is it...

... that, after being up seven or eight times with a six-year-old with a fever and the stomach flu, I feel like I spent the night running a marathon and he (aforementioned six-year-old) wakes up with energy to burn?

Tell me - how can that be?

Power, Anyone?

On the way home from work today, I ran into a stretch of road where they were doing some construction. They had a policewoman in the middle of the intersection directing traffic. She was doing a fantastic job. She had the required air of authority, and all of the rush hour traffic was courteously following her directions.

As I awaited my turn to proceed, my mind travelled through an interesting maze of thought.

My first thought was, "Oh, sure, send the little woman out to direct traffic while the men do the important jobs!"

My second thought was, "Wow, she's good - and look at the power she has. Look at how all of these people are obeying her, even during rush hour when they're all stressed and in a hurry to get home."

My third thought was, "I would be terrified being her. I never want that much power!"

Happy Thanksgiving

I hope everyone has had a wonderful day.

Today our family celebrated Canadian Thanksgiving. Tomorrow is the holiday off work, but we generally have our big celebration on the Sunday evening.

I hosted Main Man's mom, his brother and sister-in-law, their two sons, and our sister-in-law's mom. It wasn't really a houseful, but it was as big a houseful as we're accustomed to.

I served turkey (of course!), stuffing, mashed potatoes, gravy, yams with orange juice, tarragon carrots, a corn dish I make with sweet peppers, maple squash, home-baked bread and corn muffins, and spring salad mix with red and green onions and peppers and a raspberry vinaigrette. My sister-in-law and her mom brought dessert - pumpkin pie and cherry tarts. The whole meal was a roaring success. We have leftovers galore, so it looks like my diet is not going to start again for at least a few more days.

Much of the clean-up is now finished, although I must admit that I'm hitting the hay with still a few dirty wine glasses on the counter beside the sink and a couple of stubborn pots and pans soaking in the sink.

Main Man and I worked as quite the team today. We really do have massive amounts of abundance to be thankful for.

I'm Ba-a-a-a-a-ack!

Well, I was finding the whole blogging thing a little overwhelming, daunting, even - dare I say it - a little boring, so I decided to take some time off.

Actually, the word "decided" may give me too much credit. It wasn't really a conscious decision, and, in fact, after a week or so of not posting, I wasn't even sure I would ever come back.

It's been over a month now, though, and I've made it through the whole back-to-school time, and I feel refreshed. Indeed, I feel as if I have a new attitude toward my little Nook.

I will not beat myself up if I don't post every day. In fact, I will plan to post once a week-ish. That way, I will be happy with myself if I manage to post more often than that.

I have so missed my blogging friends, and I hope all is well with all of you. I will be by soon to visit and "catch up". I'm not putting any timelines on that, either, though, so please don't take it personally if it takes me a little while.

Laid back. That is going to be Library Mama. Indeed, that's the only way this blog thing can work for me.

There are way too many other things in my life that are true duties. I can't afford to let a hobby become the duty at the top of the pile.

Hi again, everyone.

I thought...

...that seeing Back to School items in the stores as early as July 20th was a little over the top, but this next one takes the cake.

This evening - August 22 - we received our Sears Christmas Wish Book!
(By the way, this isn't a picture of the one we received. I just loved the nostalgia of the picture on this cover. This little girl looks a lot like I used to look.)

Canoe Handle It?

Tomorrow morning #1 is off on a wilderness canoe trip with a group of youth from our church.

I'm sure he'll have a phenomenal time, but, as is a mother's prerogative, I'm worried for him. I'm worried it will rain and he'll be cold and wet. I'm worried he'll drop his backpack in the river and ruin all his stuff. I'm worried he'll run out of toilet paper. I'm worried he'll miss me. (Yeah right - as if that last one will ever happen!)

I've packed his backpack for him, including waterproofing everything as well as I could. I managed to roll up his sleeping bag with his pillow, air mattress and pump all in one roll. I've done everything I possibly can to make his trip safe, comfortable and enjoyable. I guess the rest is up to him.

He has no doubt that he'll have a great time, but he hasn't had the life experience I've had that allows me to look at the situation in a much more realistic (or is that pessimistic?) manner.

Happy Anniversary

Just a quick note to wish my beloved Main Man a happy anniversary.

As of 3:30 this afternoon, we have enjoyed 18 years of wedded bliss.

Well, I suppose not all of it has been bliss, but it has definitely all been worth it.

Thanks for everything, Main Man (AKA Mentok). Here's to the next 50 years!

Next Top Model

Alright, I admit, I have a new guilty little pleasure.

Over the summer I have become addicted to the variety of "Next Top Model" shows.

I've been watching episodes from Britain, Canada, and America.

It's difficult to describe exactly what attracts me, but I think I see them as a type of travel show. I mean, watching them is like learning about a culture very different from my own, from a country very different from my own.

Nice place to visit, but I wouldn't want to live there.

High School Musical 2

Aren't they just too cute for words?

We've already watched it twice today.

Of course, the second time we had to sit through Main Man heckling it, but that's the price we have to pay in this household.

Hello Again

I think this may be the longest blogger-break I have taken since I first started.

If any of you were at all worried, everything is fine. The days just seem to flow by and, before I know it, it's bedtime. Main Man is usually on the computer in the evening, and, as he is the one working all day, I figure he deserves a little computer recreation in the evening. I haven't the heart to kick him off just so I can blog.

Besides, I could be doing my blog entries sometime during the day when he's at work. I guess I just haven't had the motivation. Something has snuffed out the spark of blogging for me.

I start back to work in a week.

And you know, because it has been such a great summer, I feel okay about that.

The weather has been GORGEOUS this summer! And we've had a couple of great little holidays - our fantasy trip to the Okanagan Valley, of course, and this past weekend, we took a little excursion to my home town for their agricultural fair. I was able to see all of my siblings and my dad and his wife and a few old friends from high school. Also, the boys were able to enter some things in the fair - academic work, crafts, and such - so it was exciting to see how they did. #2 in particular was very successful, earning about $30 in prize money. He's deservedly very proud.

Well, it's almost time for storytime for the boys, so I guess I'll sign off. I hope everyone out there is doing well

Surprise, Surprise!

At the end of the work day I went to Main Man's office to surprise him by inviting him for after work drinks.

At least I tried to.

As I was on my way, my cell phone rang. I frantically searched through my purse to retrieve my cell phone, but I missed the call. Luckily, it rang again right after I found it.

It was Main Man.

He had come home early to surprise me!

Picnic in the Park and More

Yesterday the boys and I took a picnic down to the park near Main Man's office and treated him to lunch.

The lunch itself was nothing special - Black Forest ham on fresh home-baked bread, raw veggies, melon, cookies and soft drinks - but the time together was wonderful.

I hope Main Man found it as much of a boost to his afternoon as I did.

When we arrived home, the little boys continued work on their BIG PROJECT. They are in the midst of going through the massive amount of toys, books, action figures, and Hot Wheels cars in their room and playing "Love it or Shove it". They're doing a fantabulous job! I'm very proud of them. They're being far more ruthless than I would be. It's probably best that I leave them on their own to do it, or they wouldn't be nearly as efficient. ("Oh, but Sweetie, your Auntie Heather bought you this for your third birthday! You can't possibly throw that out!" There's no stronger sentimentality than that of a mother.)

In the evening, Main Man did something he hasn't done in a very long time - he went for a bike ride. #1 got a new bike this summer, so Main Man asked to borrow it. I sent him off the the grocery store for a few things. #3, who is a bicycle maniac this summer, begged to accompany him. So off they went - my oldest (so to speak) and my youngest - on an excursion farther than #3 had ever ridden away from home before. When they returned - well after dusk, I might add - both of them were pumped beyond words. They had had a ball together out on their quest, and they had even managed to remember to get the groceries I had asked for!

Thankful Thursday

This week I am thankful for the kindness of others, especially for the following situations:

- for my very good friend from work who lent #1 her copy of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows after she finished reading it.

- for my amazing brother-in-law who was able to completely fix my dryer. It's been making funny noises since January, but it completely died on Monday. We asked him to come over and assess the situation. It turned out to need a couple of parts and a knowledgeable hand, and now it runs very well, and - I might add - very quietly.

- for another very good friend from work who had all of the "girls" in for drinks this afternoon. She had had her kitchen renovated and was eager to show it off to all of us. I'm so happy for her and her husband. She has spoken for years of looking for a new house; today she seemed very happy right where she is.

- for my sister-in-law who has invited me over tomorrow to pick cherries from her tree. She has promised me a couple of recipes to put them in, and I look forward to baking pies and muffins.

- for the lady who walked #3's bike home for him after he had a bit of an accident just down the street. She had been driving by when she saw him fall and hurt himself, so she stopped and walked him home, bringing his bike for him. I had never seen her before. People can be so kind!

Time now for me to call it a night. I hope all of you are well and happy.

Harry Has Left the Building

Last night we took the boys to the largest bookstore in town to attend the Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows launch party. It was a festive evening filled with costumes, treats and excitement.

The Science Centre mentioned in my last entry had people there hosting "Potions Classes" and showing off animals that wizards may have such as snakes, mice, and lizards. There was a craft table set up with colouring sheets and paper neckties and spectacles you could colour and decorate. A magician performed late in the evening. At one second past midnight, when the book was finally released, there was a reading of the first chapter by the fireplace.

The anticipation was palpable as children ran among the stacks. Teenagers hung out in packs attempting to look indifferent. I heard one young twenty-something say to another, "Let's head next door for a beer and come back later." People began lining up at the cash desk hours ahead of time waiting to buy their copy, and there was a line-up in a different area of the store for those who had pre-paid. People of all ages awaited their chance to know the fate of the most famous boy wizard ever.

Although we had no plans to stay until midnight, #1 ran into some friends and wanted to stick around. Main Man and I took the little ones home around 11:00 and he returned to retrieve #1 later.

We haven't bought the book yet. I did put it on hold at the library, but we are 157th in line, so I expect we will end up buying it sooner rather than later. #1 desperately wants to read it before someone spills the beans to him about what the ending will bring.

I expect it will be the first title on the first purchase order I write for my library in the fall, as well.

Thankful Thursday

This week I am thankful ...

... for my very own bed after being away on vacation for ten days. As Dorothy so eloquently put it, "There's no place like home!"

... that I still have three quarters of my summer holiday remaining.

... for the summer children's programs offered by our public library. Today we saw a performance called George and the Jester, a one-man show where the guy acted like a court jester and taught about medieval life. He was an interesting guy, a member of the Society for Creative Anachronism, and he had handbuilt a lot of his props including a rare Irish harp, a lute, and a cross-bow. #2, especially, found it very interesting.

... to have Ruffy back. He didn't come on our vacation with us, and we missed him very much. He had fun too, though, as he stayed with the lady who gave him to us two years ago. She and her husband love him very much, and their grandchildren enjoyed playing with Ruff when they visited.

... for good friends and neighbours who kept the home fires burning while we were away, like Ruffy's loving guardians, and our neighbours on either side who took in our mail and watered Main Man's garden. There were several break-ins in our neighbourhood while we were away, but, thanks to our diligent neighbours, our humble little home suffered no intrusions.

... for the beauty of summer gardens.

... for the energy to complete my new summer fitness routine. I've been determined to walk Ruffy every morning before anyone else wakes up (except when we were on vacation and he wasn't with us), and I've done well with that. This week I kicked it up an notch, though, and I've begun a walk / run routine in which I walk 100 steps, then jog 100 steps. It's gotten my heart rate up just that much faster, but it's achievable. I know that running the entire distance would be beyond me for sure.

... for our Science Centre. We have a family membership, and it's probably one of the best investments we've ever made. We spent part of the afternoon there yesterday, and it's amazing how they have such a wide variety of activities, something for everyone of any age.

... for good clean water to drink on a hot day.

... for family swim time at our local public pool. From 6:45 to 8:00 every evening, families swim for free. Yesterday was a hot, drippingly humid day, and a quick dip after supper was just what the doctor ordered.

I hope everybody has a fantastic week.

Thankful Thursday

This week, I am thankful ...

... for vacations. This week we are in sunny Westbank, British Columbia, in a Bed and Breakfast with an unbelievable view of lovely Lake Okanagan. We have our own private deck on which we can sit and have breakfast in the morning and dinner in the evening, and after dinner, we can sit in the hot tub on the deck and watch the lights across the lake twinkle to the stars above.

... for days with temperatures of 35 degrees (Celsius, that is, for my American friends), and beautiful beaches on which to spend those days.

... for Main Man taking the boys to see The Transformers Movie on Tuesday evening, so I could spend an evening all by myself enjoying the view off the deck (and I don't need to tell you how peaceful that view was when I was all by myself!).

... for Noxzema, for sunburns.

... for the patience to deal with Main Man's ideas, like when he decided to take us on a drive around the lake and we ended up with an overheated engine on an abandoned logging road. Hey, the scenery was spectacular! (Positive thoughts, positive thoughts, positive thoughts... ;-)

... for the deliciously intoxicating flavour of Lake Okanagan wine. How amazing to encounter a dozen or so tiny vinyards on just a short little drive.

... for the wonderful feeling at the end of a holiday that I am ready to go home, no matter how wonderful the holiday has been.

Hope everyone is having a great week. Thanks so much for your comments and your visits. I'll be checking in much more regularly once we hit home.

The Language Police Are On the Job

#3 and I went to the first puppet show of the summer season at the library yesterday. We were treated to a very entertaining rendition of Walter the Farting Dog.

You can vividly imagine, I'm sure, the hoots of laughter emanating from the crowd, chiefly consisting of children ranging from three to eight years old, every time the puppeteers gasped the word "fart" or sounded the whoopie cushion (every thirty seconds or so).

#3 was no exception. He enjoyed almost every second of the performance. I say "almost", because there was one moment when his giggles gave way to a frown of perplexity and discomfort.

In one scene two burglars invade Walter's home in the night. Not wishing to wake anyone, one of the intruders tells the other to "Shut up!"

A shadow instantly crossed #3's face and he scooted over to the side where I was seated to inform me, "There are little kids here. They shouldn't say, 'Shut up'!"

Yes, it's nice to know that he's on the job!

Eye Candy Analysis

Okay, so we're at the beach yesterday for Canada Day, and I came to a disappointing realization.

It's much easier for a man to enjoy eye candy at the beach than a woman.

Here's my logic:

It takes absolutely no work for a seventeen-year-old girl to look good in a bikini. Heck - I looked fantastic in a bikini from the age of sixteen to the age of twenty-five or so. And that was through absolutely no effort on my part - no dieting, no organised exercise. The hardest part was buying the bikini.

Young men, however, must put some effort into looking good in a bathing suit. Skinny doesn't cut it. They have to work out in order to have biceps and abs that I'm interested in looking at. Sorry, guys, that's just the way it is.

And I really am sorry. Believe me! Because yesterday, Main Man's eyes just about fell out of their sockets several time as he ogled the bikinis, while I was doomed to view skinny eighteen-year-olds and paunchy forty-year-olds.

This could be a painful summer.

Elation!

Just a quick note to inform all of you that I finished filling out my last report card earlier this evening. I will proofread them tomorrow, so I'm not completely scot-free, but I'm still feeling pretty fine.

I can't believe I survived this month. It's been the busiest June on record for me, and that's saying something!

July is so close I think I can taste it. (Then again, that could just be all of those weekend barbecues repeating on me.)

Freedom, here I come!

I'm All Barbecued Out!

This weekend I attended six barbecues. These were no ordinary barbecues, mind you. They were those extra-special community-type barbecues where you must leave your vegetables at the door. Only carnivores and carbivores allowed!

It started Friday at noon, when the school where I teach held their community barbecue.

Friday at suppertime, our boys' school had theirs.

Saturday morning was #3's soccer wind-up game, followed by a noon barbecue. Saturday afternoon was #1's soccer wind-up, followed by an early afternoon barbecue.

A little later on Saturday was #1's birthday party at which we treated five 12- and 13-year-old boys to - you guessed it - a barbecue. (Ed. note: Mini-carrots were offered at this one. Of course, I was the only one who ate them.)

Sunday afternoon was #2's softball wind-up, followed by yet one more barbecue.

Really, by Sunday afternoon, even the boys couldn't look at a hamburger or a hotdog.

We all went home and treated ourselves to a homegrown lettuce salad with all the trimmings - and not a barbecued item in sight!

And Now From the "I Wish I Had This Problem" Department

The latest excuse for not handing in homework on time:

Dear Mrs. LibraryMama,

Little darling cannot hand her homework in today because the cleaning lady moved it and we can't find it.

Sincerely,
Little Darling's Mom

Happy Day to #1!

Just a very quick entry to let everyone far and wide know that, as of today, I am the parent of a teenager!

Today is #1's thirteenth birthday.

Happy birthday, big guy!

Proud Mama

I have to quickly jot down my thoughts about this morning before the day races by.

This morning, my #1 participated in a youth-led service at the church. I was so incredibly proud of him!

There were six kids between the ages of 11 and 14 who, under the patient guidance of our minister, led the entire service: the music, the prayers, the sermon, and they even managed to include some drama.

#1 presented part of the sermon, acted as Goliath in the drama, and played his saxophone and his guitar. I quietly sat back and tried not to get too emotional in light of his accomplishments.

The piece de resistance was once we got home, though, and Main Man - my confirmed Buddhist husband who had attended the service in support of #1 - hugged me and thanked me for raising our kids as church-goers. Even he was overwhelmed with the fantastic vibe emanating from these great kids.

It does feel good to know that I have had a part, however small, in providing the opportunity for #1 to meet such wonderful friends.

Wendy Whiner Sees the Light

Do you remember that series of sketches on Saturday Night Live featuring Doug and Wendy Whiner?

I'm afraid I've been quite the Wendy Whiner lately, and I'm sorry for that.

I've managed to lose many of my regular readers and even more of my regular commenters. Thank you so much to those of you who have stuck with me through my slump.

Right now, what I most regret is how churlish I've been to the parents where I teach. Granted, there are some parents there who don't really understand the concept of cooperating, and who seem determined to stir up problems that essentially don't exist, but there are also many wonderful parents who seek only to support us and, more importantly, support their children.

Friday, immediately after I was observed in my classroom by my principal, I walked into our library to be greeted by three tables full of appetizing salads, fresh bread and rolls, beautifully displayed meat and cheese trays, and decadent desserts. Our school council (AKA PTA) had planned a lunch for our staff during Teacher Appreciation Week in February, but scheduling conflicts had created problems. They decided to postpone the luncheon until June, and I can't think of a more wonderful day to have it. (Although, because I felt weak with relief due to the completion of my observation, I ate way too much. Oh well! C'est la vie.)

It was a truly wonderful lunch - and it seemed to be made-to-order for my situation.

Unexpected

So much for sleeping well last night...

I'm nursing a respiratory infection that, during the day is mildly annoying, not really enough to slow me down very much.

At night, though, as soon as I lie down, it becomes this hurricane of coughing. Finally, at 3:18 a.m., I had some hot lemon medicine and slept quite a bit better after that. Still, no rest for the weary. It's 7:30ish now, and I'm preparing to spend the day at the school amid my mountains of marking.

Hope I can keep my wits about me.

I find my heart a little lighter this evening. And it's probably for a very silly reason.

I wonder if you remember that months ago I mentioned that this is my year to be formally observed and evaluated by the administration of my school.

This should not be all that stressful for me. I mean, after all, I've taught for 19 years. What are they going to do, fire me?

Not to mention that I've received numerous commendations from my division administration, often after parents have contacted them with glowing accounts of my teaching.

Why do I still - quite literally - lose sleep over this?

My principal is my friend. He and I share a laugh at least once a day, often more. Why do I burn up with nerves, my face red and my shirt sticky, when he is sitting in my desk, watching me teach?

There really is no reason for all of this silliness.

The good news is that today, I experienced my last observation - for the next four years, anyway.

My lesson went really well. The students, thinking that he was there to observe them instead of me, behaved extremely well. Almost too well. My principal was taking down data on my classroom management skills, and there weren't any situations to manage. Still, that's a nice problem to have.

We met after the lesson to "debrief", and he spoke about how my voice compelled people to listen when I speak. He spoke of a mutual respect that was evident in my class. He spoke of how the lesson flowed calmly and naturally.

As he spoke of all of this, all I could think about was how well I would sleep tonight.

Stay on Track

Today is track and field day at the school.

I am in charge of the high jump event. I enjoy this day, but I worry a lot about injuries at my event. I worry that someone will land heavily on top of the bar and hurt his or her back. I worry that they will fall off the mat with momentum and hit their head on the hard ground. I worry that they will slip and fall backwards. It's the lunch break now, and so far, so good.

It's a beautiful day - clear blue sky, burning sun, slight breeze - perfect for track. Luckily this year I remembered my sunscreen.

June...

... bleeeccccchhhhhh!

June will be such a blur. In addition to year-end recitals and concerts, there will be the Cancer Society's Relay for Life, in which #1 and I are participating. It is an all night walk-a-thon. Why it has to be overnight is beyond me, but I signed up because our church school is participating in honour of our friend and fellow teacher who died of cancer last November. I'm trying to be positive about it, but I'm afraid it will ruin me. I'm one of those people who really need their sleep, and June is my busiest month.

Oh, we're also chasing after 6 soccer and softball games every week.

And this weekend there's a multicultural festival in town (3 evenings) that the kids really want to go to, and we really want to take them to. We've never been before, and that is really a travesty, because it is quite the phenomenon!

Oh - and in the midst of all the hoop-la this month, I have to complete all of my report cards.

I will try to blog as often as I can, but if I miss for a while, forgive me.

Summer holidays are on their way! (That's the idea that gets me through.)

Thankful Thursday

Just like a couple of weeks ago, I have many things to be thankful for, but I am going to focus on just one.

First, some background: in addition to The Books Nook, I have a classroom blog. I write at the end of every school day about homework the kids have or about upcoming events or about interesting things that have happened during the day. I use it chiefly as a communication tool with parents, keeping them informed of what goes on during those seven or eight odd hours during the day that their kids have lives that don't always involve parents.

Yesterday, when I sat down to do my classroom post, I logged on to our blog and found my latest Books Nook post - on my classroom blog.

Yesterday morning I had dashed off a post quickly before I left for work, and I had accidentally posted it on the wrong blog!

My first reaction was complete and utter mortification! I hurriedly deleted the post and sat, holding my chest for a moment as my heart ran a sprint.

Then, as my mind cleared, I began to analyze the situation. First, I checked my statcounter. As my luck would have it, I had had more visitors that day than usual.

Next, I thought hard about the content of my post. It was a really quick post about a computer game I've discovered on addictinggames.com , and the only personal editorial comment was that discovering a new game could be dangerous for me this time of year. Okay...deep breath...that's not so bad.

And that's where Thankful Thursday comes in. I am so very grateful that my accidental post was not this or this. I think I might have been looking for a different position for the fall if that had been the case!

By the way, my new obsession is a game called Lucky Balls. Give it a try, but don't say I didn't warn you - it is fairly addictive!

What Was the Right Thing to Do?

I attended a church council meeting tonight.

It was probably the first one in which I invested any emotional attachment. My question is, though, was that the right thing to do?

Until tonight, I was detached, sitting back, learning the ropes, nonchalantly voting on financial statements and whether or not to purchase a new stove for the catering committee.

Tonight, though, our church school co-ordinator's contract was up for renewal.

Not to seem biased, I have to say that she is currently an invaluable part of my life - my spiritual life, anyway. But I don't want to seem biased. ;-)

First, as a church school teacher, I owe her a debt of gratitude because she makes my job do-able (Is that even a word?). She does virtually all of the preparation, she runs all of the joint portions of the time (ie: the opening singing, the large group prayers, etc.), and she completely co-ordinates the large-scale productions, such as our musical. Without her, there probably would not be a church school, certainly not to the extent that we enjoy now.

Second, as a parent, I owe her a debt of gratitude because without her efforts, I'm not sure #1's life would be nearly as inter-twined with the church as it currently is. She was hired almost two years ago now, right around the time when #1 started to get a hint of "pre-teen attitude". Without our co-ordinator causing church school to be cool again, I may have lost him from the fold, so to speak. Instead, now I have a 12-year-old who has volunteered to regularly change the saying on the sign in front of the church, advertising up-coming events and who engages in discussions regarding religious symbolism in the movies with the priest .

Third, she is my friend. I appreciate her work so much, but I also treasure her friendship and would never want to lose that.

So, I'm sure you can see why, in a discussion regarding the renewal of her contract, I could possibly get a little hot under the collar. Of course, there are only two people on church council who have anything to do with the church school, so several of the opinions put forward were overshadowed by ignorance on the subject (Again, no bias intended ;).

I tried hard to sound detached, intelligent, and impartial, but I'm not sure it worked.

The good news is that yes, we are re-newing her contract. The other good news is that, during the refreshment time after the meeting, I had a chance to suck up to all of the people I may have (just slightly) offended during the meeting.

I hope I did the right thing.

Brotherly Advice

Today is the track and field meet at the boys' school.

#2 is a little worried, as it's his first meet. Last night, he was anxiously thinking aloud, "They haven't even taught us how to do the ball-throw yet."

#1 replied with the air of contemptuous authority that only an older brother could convey, "I believe ... you throw ... the ball."

(Note the pauses for dramatic effect.)

;-)

This time of year...

...seems to bring out the real craziness in my business.

A few weeks ago, a friend from the university told me that one of her profs had speculated in class that in the next five to ten years there will be a new designation of student requiring special ed help. This student will be labelled "The Pampered Child" and will require special ed help because they possess no problem-solving skills.

At first I thought she was joking, but then I encountered the following.

One day last week a parent of four told one of my colleagues, "Every day when my children get home from school I ask them how their day was."

Okay, I know what you're thinking - probably the same thing I was at this point in the story - "That's nice."

Just wait...

She continued on, "If any one of them can't tell me something positive, I call the school right away."

Wow! Think of the problem-solving skills those kids must have!

Speaking of the Circus...

Last night, #3's little dance troupe performed at a local arts festival.

It was spectacular! (Granted, I am a biased stage mother.)

There are five of them in the group, and they were all clowns in a circus act. Oh - except #3. He was the ringmaster.

They garnered loads of applause, and we were all very proud. Even the older boys had to grudgingly admit that it was a lot of fun to watch.

After each of the groups from #3's dance studio performed, the adults from the group - the teachers and others who perform with them - executed two dances. One was a robotic type synchronized piece, and the other was a fire dance. It was so cool! (Oops - I guess "cool" isn't exactly the word for a fire dance, is it? Oh well, you get the idea.) Again, even my cynical 12-year-old was just about blown away with the acrobatics and showmanship of the act.

A word about our dance studio: we are absolutely thrilled with the attitude toward dance that it puts forward. Dance is not just a show with our teachers; it is an experience.

I will try to describe what I mean. You know how dancers in a group are almost always expected to look identical to one another? Perfectly matching hair, make-up, fake smiles. That's not the case here. Each of the little boys put together his own costume. They were individual and creative. And the smiles were anything but fake.

These children are not just learning dance steps and routines. They are cultivating a love for dance and performing that will hopefully last them a very long time.

Bravo, #3! We're all very proud of you.

Somedays I Feel Like Joining the Circus...

You know, somedays the most bizarre part of my job is dealing with the parents. The kids are really a delight compared to their parents.

The circus is coming to town. Our school, like many others in the vicinity, have received vouchers to distribute to the younger students. These vouchers can be traded in at ticket outlets for circus tickets.

A friend of mine who teaches Grade Two received this phone call today at noon hour.

Hello, Mrs. M. I'm calling to let you know that my husband and I are dead set against circuses, particularly those that exploit animals. When Emma (name changed to protect the innocent) came home with her circus voucher, she promptly threw it in the garbage. We were very proud of her. We do feel, however, that she is old enough to make her own decisions about a topic such as this, and she has decided to attend the circus after all. Would you please send another voucher home with her this afternoon?

Is it just me, or is that not one of the strangest things you've ever heard?

Maybe I've just become an incredibly jaded teacher. Actually, there's no maybe about it; I have become cynical and jaded.

Still though, is that bizarre or what??

Thankful Thursday

This week, I am thankful...

...that it has been raining and snowing almost all week, because it has given me a week off of soccer and softball. I really needed that time to catch up on laundry and other household tasks.

...that when the Grade 2 student who was running in the hallway at recess ran into me, I was holding the water bottle I got at Dollarama, not the brand new "World's Greatest Librarian" mug the boys gave me for Mother's Day.

...that Main Man was able to download the season finale of Brothers and Sisters, because I had to miss it when it aired Sunday night.

...for the Highland Games, which we attended on Sunday. The afternoon was spent watching highland dancing and "heavy games" like the caber toss, and listening to some fine pipe and drum bands. Then, the evening brought the ceilidh, with lots of dancing and Scottish refreshment. What a wild time! And the kids enjoyed it all as much as we did (well, all except the "Scottish refreshment"!).

...for the recovery of our friend from church - a little guy about 11 years old who was high-jumping at his school and missed the mat, hitting his head on the concrete floor of the gymnasium. He was hospitalized for almost a week, but when we visited him Sunday, his Dad described his recovery as 100%.

...for four day weekends!

...that the store where Main Man bought my outfit for the job-interview-that-wasn't takes back returns so readily.

...for my big brothers, both of whom are celebrating a birthday today. Yup, they were born on the same date, six years apart. Cool, eh?

...for those moments when the boys cause each other to double over in giggling fits.

...for #3's new Spiderman light-up sneakers. I paid only $6.94 for them!

Have a great week, everyone.

World History According to #3

#2 (after watching the movie The Wedding Singer): I wish I'd lived in the eighties!

#3 (who had not seen the movie): Really? Why? You'd have to fight knights and stuff!

Thankful Thursday

This week, I am thankful for many things, but I will write about one particular one.

A week ago today, I was frantically getting a C. V. together. I had not applied for a job in 18 years, but I was going to take the leap and apply for a new job.

First, I need to establish something: I love my job. I had not been scanning the employment pages for weeks, desperately seeking a way out of my dead-end job. That was not my situation at all.

However, a job had materialised that I was interested in. It was with the same school division I have been teaching in for almost 20 years, and it would mean no report cards to fill out, no parent-teacher interviews to smile through, and virtually no marking to take up my weekends. It was an itinerant position in which I would visit six specific schools and help their staffs design and carry out "literacy programs". Basically, lots of work with teachers, some work with students, and none of the stuff listed above which is burning me out. There would be a fair bit of driving involved, but I like driving. And in this position, I would get paid for my mileage, as driving is a requisite for the job.

I worked really hard on getting this job. My Mother's Day weekend was completely engulfed in preparations for the interview: buying just the right outfit and shoes (not easy among all those Pussycat Doll shoes!), reading up on theories and methodologies of teaching reading and writing, anticipating questions and preparing the perfect answer for each one.

Well, folks, I didn't even get an interview for the job.

And I can honestly say that I am grateful.

As I already wrote, I love my job. I really do. And I think I love my job even more now.

Every day the kids I work with make me smile.

And over the past few days, every time I've smiled at work, I've said to myself, "How could you have considered giving this up?"

Really, how could I have considered giving it all up?

Shoes Blues

I had to drag a very unwilling #3 with me yesterday as I shopped for a new pair of shoes for work.

Heavily laden with a head cold, he flopped down on a bench as I scanned the wide variety of sandals, most of which were totally inappropriate for professional wear.

He must have noticed that too, for as he sat there with red weepy eyes, trying to keep his head up, he commented, "Mom, these shoes are not for you. These are Pussycat Doll Shoes."

____________________________________________________________________
Editor's Note: Life is a whirlwind here. I'm afraid I have too little time to visit you right now. I even have too little time to reply to comments. I still love reading them, though, so if you happen to stop by, feel free to leave a little blurb. I miss you all, but I'll fill you in as soon as I can. L.M.

Overheard by the Grade Six Lockers

Grade Six Boy #1: But I thought you really liked her!

Grade Six Boy #2: Nah ... that was yesterday.

How Sexy Are You?

Check this out!

I'll have you know that I'm a steamy 9 on the scale.

Watch - all of you are probably 10s.

Hah!

Let me know how you do ... if you dare.

Wasn't That a Weekend!

I'm not sure I'll have enough time to get everything down in one sitting. This was the ultimate weekend. I'm still having trouble believing we fit it all in!

Friday suppertime saw me off to the church for an institute for church leaders. I still feel that calling me a church leader is a bit of a stretch, but, as a member of church council, I was expected to attend.

It started with a pizza supper, then an evening of exploring our own personalities and those of each other. Normally, I find these sorts of things slightly (if not very) annoying, but this was sort of enjoyable. There was lots of laughter, and everyone had an open mind.

It finished with a wine and cheese, but I begged off as the boys had been on their own through the evening, and I felt I should get home to them. Main Man was out of town for the weekend at a conference - more on that later.

Saturday morning I was back to the church bright and early for breakfast before continuing the leadership institute. I didn't enjoy Saturday morning quite as much. The focus turned the corner to explore how the talents, skills, and personal attributes we discovered the night before could best be used in our work for the church. I'm not sure if my lack of interest Saturday was caused by fatigue or extreme self-centredness. Possibly a little bit of both.

Lunch was also provided, but again I had to beg off because I had to get #2 to his guitar lesson.

Most of the afternoon was spent in preparation for the evening, because what an evening we were planning for! Each of the boys was off to a sleepover (Thank you so much, you wonderful people who helped us out!), and I was off to spend the night here with Main Man on the last night of his conference.

The boys set off to their various destinations, sleeping bags and pillows in hand, backpacks filled with overnight necessities such as pyjamas, toothbrushes, toys, videos, and junkfood, at about 5:00, and I was off on my own. What an amazingly decadent feeling! I was off on my own for the next 20 hours or so - no kids, no dog, no homework. Main Man was the only thing left that I would have to cope with. (Ha-ha - just kidding, Honey.)

Before I headed out on the open highway, I stopped for a quick visit to a grocery store for some essentials for a romantic evening: fancy cheeses and crackers, smoked oysters, pate, olives, and cheesecake. Next stop: the liquor store for a fine bottle of Australian Shiraz.

When I arrived at the hotel, Main Man was still schmoozing at the conference reception, so I curled up on the king-size bed and watched the beginning of Casablanca on tv. How peaceful, how quiet, how delinquent!

Once he arrived at the room, we enjoyed some appetizers, then we headed down the street for dinner. We found a trendy, casual place that specialized in international appetizers and tapas. The food was heavenly. We shared an herb tomato soup with coriander cream, an order of Portuguese roll-ups (bacon-wrapped dates), some coconut crabmeat dip, and some spicy lamb wraps. We ate so much, we felt like Weebles when we were done.

The night was young, though, and we had to keep going, no matter how Weebly we felt.

After changing into our bathing suits, we set off for the geo-thermal pool. I could actually feel the tension leaving my muscles. It was like swimming in paradise. I could have napped right then and there. When we arrived at the pool, we had thought we might stay until midnight when it closed, but it was so relaxing, we headed back to our room about eleven o'clock, just in case one of us did fall asleep in the pool!

We had also expected to spend some time at the casino before we hit the hay, but the pool had done both of us in. We were spent - in a beautifully relaxing, peaceful way.

We awoke in the morning, lounged, and watched tv. Again, I felt almost corrupt; it was Sunday morning and I was not teaching Sunday School. Would I be struck by lightning?

Eventually, we made it down to the brunch buffet in the hotel restaurant, perhaps our only disappointment of the experience. For a fairly hefty price, we "enjoyed" a pretty ho-hum brunch. Still, nothing could dampen our weekend.

After a bit of shopping in various and sundry gift-shops, we headed home to our boys, and our lovely serene mini-break was but a memory.

Still, it's a memory to keep us going for quite a while.

Newsflash: Since we arrived home, #3 learned how to ride his two-wheeler ... all by himself. Yes, you read that correctly - he learned how to ride a two-wheeler without one lesson from Main Man or myself. He simply started off on our driveway, pedalled down the slope into the street (Fortunately, we live on a very quiet street.), and took off.

There will be no holding him back now, no matter how hard we try!

Am I an Optimist or a Pessimist?

You Are a Realist

You don't see the glass as half empty or half full. You see what's exactly in the glass. You never try to make a bad situation seem better than it is... But you also never sabotage any good things you have going on. You are brutally honest in your assessments of situations - and this always seems to help you cope.

Are You An Optimist or Pessimist?

Could I possibly be more boring?!

So, what do you think of...

...this season's "Bachelor"?

The boys and I caught the show for the first time tonight.

The consensus was that he was a bit cheesy.

At one point, he was telling one of the girls how much he admired her spirit, her intelligence, her warmth, her honesty, her generosity, her sincerity...fill in any more cheesy-sounding compliments here.

#2 piped up, "This guy uses more descriptors than a Harry Potter book!"

Out of the mouths of ten-year-olds...

What Kind of Cake Am I? Chocolate, Baby! What Else is There?!

You Are a Chocolate Cake

Fun, comforting, and friendly. You are a true classic, and while you're not super cutting edge, you're high quality. People love your company - and have even been known to get addicted to you.

What Kind of Cake Are You?

I had sort of forgotten about Blogthings until I visited my friend Pissy's site yesterday, and she reminded me of how much fun these things can be.

Try it out.

Wish Me Peace (and a Broken Leg)

I'm enjoying an ever-so-brief moment of peace before I wake up the monkeys.

This will be a busy Sunday. The church school musical performance is this morning, followed by a potluck hosted by the church school.

The musical is adorable - a look at what life was like for children aboard Noah's ark. My favourite song is "What Do You Do on a Rainy Day in an Ark?" I play the part of Mrs. Noah, and my solo is "Have You Ever Kept House in an Ark?"

This morning I need to finish up my pasta and meat sauce for the potluck and be at the church an hour early for last minute rehearsal.

Wish me a broken leg!

Thankful Thursday

This week I am thankful...

... for the safe travel of my dad, his wife, my sister and her husband. They have been in Europe since early April. We received an email last night from Paris, and it sounds as if they are having a spectacular time and that the weather has been perfect. They arrive home on the weekend.

... for the hard work and dedication of #2's Cub leaders and #3's Beaver leaders. I know I've mentioned my gratitude to them before, but it bears repeating. The wind-up night was earlier this week, complete with order-in pizza and potluck salads and desserts for the whole family. It was a veritable smorgasbord of good food and goodwill.

... for soft overnight spring rains that help coax the eruption of green but do not dampen daily life.

... for yesterday's rejuvenating book day.

... for strong early morning coffee.

... for last night's American Idol show, which helped me appreciate my own life so much more. It was more of a telethon than an Idol episode. I hate to admit that, as I watched it, there were times I had tears rolling down my cheeks. I hate when I let shows like that manipulate my emotions. Did any of you watch it?

... for the patience of my church council colleagues. I was elected to church council in February and I attended my third meeting earlier this week. I'm not sure I've said anything out loud at any of the meetings yet. I've sat back though, and tried to pick up the rhythm of the meetings, and hopefully, I'll be able to contribute something soon.

Literary Heaven

Today I get to spend the day at a book display.

I will be in a large, hushed room with few people and myriads of books.

New books. Shiny books. Perfect books.

Picture books. Fiction. Non-fiction.

Hardcovers. Paperbacks. Graphic Novels.

It is my idea of heaven.

The only downfall is I must decide which ones I can afford in my library budget and which ones I cannot.

I've always been a very inclusive person. It's just not fair that I have to exclude some of them!

Book Review - "After"

Francis Chalifour's After is a fictional account of the year after a father commits suicide.

It is not a book I would have chosen to read, had it not been a nominee for next year's Willow Awards.

I don't care for sad books. I don't quite understand the tremendous appeal of Lurlene McDaniel's writing to teenage girls. Perhaps they have not yet encountered their quota of sadness in their own lives, so they must live vicariously.

I, myself, choose to encounter sadness on any level, as rarely as is possible.

But, as it was for my work, I was willing to make the sacrifice.

By the end of this book, however, I was very pleasantly surprised.

The main character of After is fifteen-year Francis, and he is coping with growing up as best he can. Like many young men his age, Francis hates to be different, and, as "the kid with the dead dad", he finds himself always different. On top of that, his dad killed himself, so he is also "the kid with the crazy dead dad." Even worse.

There are absolutely heart-wrenching moments, like when Francis encounters his first breakup with a girl. Francis longs for his father's presence in order to "ask him what you're supposed to do when you're in love with a girl who is so clearly, cruelly, not in love with you".

Also, for a brief moment near the end of the book, Francis gets it in his mind that he will see his father again, so he composes a list of questions he must ask when he does. The list includes (among others) "How did you know you had fallen in love with Maman?", "Were you popular in school?" and "Were you proud of me?" I cried when I read that list of questions. How many of us have wanted to ask those types of questions of our parents?

The book is a tender, heartfelt account of grief. Many times, I forgot how Francis's father passed away, as it is the grief itself the book focuses on: the denial, the anger, the eventual acceptance.

The book vividly portrays those moments when Francis feels he cannot go on, but go on he must, for his mother and his five-year-old brother Luc depend on him. More than once he declares that he will not betray their trust, like his father betrayed Francis's.

After also accurately shows how time heals grief, and, at the end of the book, hope shines on, and we all know that Francis, Maman, and Luc will survive. The gradual retreat of the fog of Francis's grief would be a powerful one for any teenager to read about, but especially one who has experienced a loss.

Thankful Thursday

This week I am thankful ...

... for our Sunday School co-ordinator who is slowly but surely coaching the kids through our spring musical, to be held at the end of the month. #1 has a lead part and rehearses three times a week. The others are in the general chorus and practice only on Sundays. I have a solo part. Yes, you read that correctly. I am Mrs. Noah, and I get to sing a solo. (I'm a little bit excited about it.)

... for running water and for a water heater big enough for all of us to get ready for work / school in the morning without killing each other over hot water.

... that it hasn't snowed this week.

... for days off, like last Friday when I was able to have lunch downtown with Main Man.

... that #1 still communicates with us about his life outside our home. Yesterday at the supper table, he shared with us that he had gotten into a physical fight with a long-time friend at recess time. The friend and a few other guys had been picking away at #1 for a couple of days. Then, at recess, they had been playing a game and tempers flared and it grew into a fight. He has a red mark on the side of his face, but if he hadn't told us about it, I don't think we would have known. Apparently, no teacher or supervisor saw it, which may be a good thing, because they stopped the fight themselves and carried on with life, I guess.

... for my job. Late last week and early this week, I was contemplating schemes and plots to ease my way out of this profession. The kids are fantastic, but all of the other garbage we have to deal with is starting to get me down. This has been a pretty good week at work, though, and, like I said, you gotta love the kids.

Have a great week, everybody!