This time of year...

...seems to bring out the real craziness in my business.

A few weeks ago, a friend from the university told me that one of her profs had speculated in class that in the next five to ten years there will be a new designation of student requiring special ed help. This student will be labelled "The Pampered Child" and will require special ed help because they possess no problem-solving skills.

At first I thought she was joking, but then I encountered the following.

One day last week a parent of four told one of my colleagues, "Every day when my children get home from school I ask them how their day was."

Okay, I know what you're thinking - probably the same thing I was at this point in the story - "That's nice."

Just wait...

She continued on, "If any one of them can't tell me something positive, I call the school right away."

Wow! Think of the problem-solving skills those kids must have!

Somedays I Feel Like Joining the Circus...

You know, somedays the most bizarre part of my job is dealing with the parents. The kids are really a delight compared to their parents.

The circus is coming to town. Our school, like many others in the vicinity, have received vouchers to distribute to the younger students. These vouchers can be traded in at ticket outlets for circus tickets.

A friend of mine who teaches Grade Two received this phone call today at noon hour.

Hello, Mrs. M. I'm calling to let you know that my husband and I are dead set against circuses, particularly those that exploit animals. When Emma (name changed to protect the innocent) came home with her circus voucher, she promptly threw it in the garbage. We were very proud of her. We do feel, however, that she is old enough to make her own decisions about a topic such as this, and she has decided to attend the circus after all. Would you please send another voucher home with her this afternoon?

Is it just me, or is that not one of the strangest things you've ever heard?

Maybe I've just become an incredibly jaded teacher. Actually, there's no maybe about it; I have become cynical and jaded.

Still though, is that bizarre or what??

Am I in David Lynch Film?

Some surreal observations from our evening out on Saturday:

- a woman at least seventy years old dancing among the college crowd. She danced alone, and she appeared to be sitting alone. She had the figure of a prima ballerina and she danced beautifully. It was difficult to take your eyes off of her.

- two young women with serious big hair, dancing suggestively with drinks in their hands. Did I say suggestively? It looked like they were about to switch into lap-dance mode at any moment. One of them appeared to be pregnant; however it could simply have been what she was wearing. Still, the surreality of it all was too much to bear.

- a young woman with dwarfism who was with two very tall friends. Perhaps from our vantage point up in the balcony, the height difference among the three of them was exaggerated, but, added to the other incidents, it bore retelling.

And now for the piece de resistance....

- as we left the warmth of the building and walked out into the brick wall of frigidity (we're still in the deep-freeze here), we passed a rather dumpy young man bundled up from the cold, speaking into his cell-phone. The phrase we overheard as we passed?

"Yes, but you hurt me too, Mother!"