The Power of Prayer

On the weekend, Main Man and I were discussing an experiment he had read about which, after years of study, determined that prayer was useless.

Evidently, in this study, there were three groups of ill people studied - a control group who were not prayed for, a group who were prayed for but not informed about it, and a group who were prayed for and were informed of it.

Main Man said that the group prayed for and informed actually worsened in health. They think it may have been because they felt further anxiety about their conditions because they didn't realize they were sick enough to need prayer.

I think the experiment studied the wrong thing.

I pray. When someone I love is ill, I pray. When I'm worried about something, I pray. I'm not sure it will help them, but I do know that it helps me.

It helps me. It lets me feel that I am doing something when there is very little I can do.

And I have to ask - what kind of sicko conducts an experiment basically designed to prove that prayer is ineffective? What kind of person does it take to stamp out the one hope that some people have at such an intensely difficult time in their lives?

And how dare they take away that one thing I thought I could do to help!

Happy Birthday, Dad!

Yesterday was my dad's 82nd birthday.

He is such an amazing man. And he still leads such a full life. He still farms with my brother. He and his wife still travel, go dancing, and enjoy movies and dinners out.

My mom had a stroke about seven years before she passed away. She still did very well, but it paralyzed her right side, and she was in a wheelchair for the rest of her life. Dad cared for her faithfully and tenderly. They managed to have a very happy existence despite the challenges she faced.

Mom passed away in February of 2000, the day after she and Dad returned from their annual trip to Hawaii.

My dad was 75 years old and alone - and lonely. We three kids who were physically distant called him regularly, and he saw my oldest brother every day when they worked together, but his heart was probably breaking with loneliness.

Slowly, we began to realize that he wasn't at home as often when we called. And when we did get a hold of him, he seemed to talk about a certain someone a little more than other people.

My dad had begun to date.

Although the feeling was a little weird, I was very happy for him. And we four kids were very fortunate in that we knew Dad's "friend" very well. She had been a close neighbour as we had grown up. Her kids had gone to school on the same school bus we had. And she had been widowed a month after Mom had died.

In the spring of 2001, Dad phoned me one evening to chat - not an unusual occurrence. Since he had become more difficult for us to get a hold of, he had started calling us more. He was clearing his throat nervously, though, through our small talk and finally got to the point. "I've asked Ruth to marry me," he said uneasily.

I assured him that it was very happy news - as long as she had said yes!

They were married in June that same year, and I not only gained a stepmom, but also three step-siblings and their families. We were all overjoyed for our parents.

I like to think that Mom is okay with things, wherever she is. She and Dad had over fifty years together, and their chief concern was the other's happiness. If that still goes, Mom is definitely okay with things.

I phoned Dad last night to wish him a happy day. It was a bit of a bittersweet conversation, as he was surrounded by family - all three of my siblings and Ruth's two daughters and their families. We live a little too far away to have made it for the evening.

But how wonderful for Dad!

I hope I can be surrounded by rooms full of family on my 82nd birthday.

Book Review: Clear Your Clutter with Feng Shui

I am a clutter queen.

I blame the boys (although that isn't really fair). Whenever #1 or #2 tires of a toy, finishes with a book, or outgrows a piece of clothing, I feel compelled to keep it, just in case #3 wants it someday.

Of course, that doesn't explain the dozen or so candles in my china cupboard that have gone unlit or the women's magazines in the pile beside my bed, waiting to be read.

I reserved Karen Kingston's Clear Your Clutter with Feng Shui at the library because it was recommended by my friend Flylady. Coincidentally, it came available just before we went to the cabin. I found this coincidental not only because I would have time to read while away, but also because the cabin offers one of the finest examples of living without clutter. Isn't it amazing how when you are away from home, you can quite easily live without all those things you have hoarded because you simply couldn't live without them?

This book not only gives the standard tips to how to get rid of clutter, but also probes more closely into why people accumulate "stuff", and the emotional effects of that accumulation. It really struck a chord with me when it described the energy drain clutter causes.

I found this book extremely informative. However, the chapter on "Clutter Clearing Your Body" was just a little over the top - especially the part where Kingston describes "the ideal bowel movement" (I kid you not!)

Despite the body chapter, I highly recommend this book. It's motivated even me to do a little clutter clearing, and - remember - I'm a clutter queen.